it glows. i had to have it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
