I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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