Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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