I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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