I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
