I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Enjoy the penises
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
