i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
