I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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