It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
