dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
