at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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