I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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