grandma shit on top of the toilet
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
