Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
