Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
