Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
