you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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