Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
