i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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