he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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