So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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