and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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