lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
