sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
