you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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