hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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