I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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