She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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