whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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