I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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