Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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