arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
