The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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