Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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