I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
