Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
