I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
