1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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