Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
His nipple licking is glorious
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