So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
