it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm both gender and math confused
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
