so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
