just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
