I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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