if you like me you must not know who I am
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
