Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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