addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think my fart just growled at me.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
