uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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