Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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