watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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