Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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