4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
