We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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