Come see our sink grown plant.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
