Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
