dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
should my penis look like a turkey
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
