Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
